I started going to Colleen’s Saturday pregnancy class when I was about four months pregnant, and also booked on to her hypnobirthing course. As a first time mum all I knew about giving birth was from TV and movies, and this generally made me quite anxious and fearful of giving birth. Colleen’s hypnobirthing course really helped me and my wife to understand what was happening in labour and therefore what was likely to help with pain relief and progress, and what would hinder it. I felt more confident to make a well-informed birth plan, and went on to plan a natural water birth at a birthing centre of my choice, as my pregnancy was low risk. I also found that the weekly pregnancy classes helped me to check in with body and mind every week and encouraged me to focus on relaxation and reducing stress.
However, when I turned eight months pregnant I went for a private scan and was told that I had low amniotic fluid. I was referred back to DVH and diagnosed with oligohydramnios. I started to have weekly scans to measure the fluid level and check on baby. Suddenly, the doctor was talking about a 37 week induction if the fluid stays low. I felt out of control and stressed. I spoke with Colleen who reassured me and pointed me towards information about oligohydramnios. I also sought support from a private midwife who also pointed me towards research in that area, and after doing some reading I was able to feel more confident in querying the need for medical intervention based on low fluid alone. I knew from the hypnobirthing course that one medical intervention tends to lead to more and more interventions, so was keen to be clear on the reasoning for any decisions made. I was happy to follow the doctor’s lead if they were able to explain a clear medical need for induction, but I felt empowered to ask questions and ensure that the need was there rather than just blindly changing my birth plan without clear and evidence based reasoning.
As it turned out, a few weeks later the amniotic fluid increased and this wasn’t an issue anymore; I luckily didn’t have to contend with a potential early induction. However, I was left with a different issue. At 36 weeks, my baby was still breech. I tried lots of different things to try and naturally encourage my baby to turn but made the choice not to try an ECV as I didn’t feel it was right for me or my baby.
As 37 weeks came and went, I knew that I was looking at another change to my birth plan. After talking with the DVH team, and lots of reading and reflecting, I decided to book an elective c-section for 39 weeks. I struggled to come to terms with the complete change to my birth plan and had feelings of guilt about booking an elective c-section rather than trying a natural birth. However, I remembered Colleen saying that it doesn’t matter how your baby comes into the world, as long as you feel you made your own choices and felt empowered throughout the process. I knew I wanted to look back and feel I had control over the decisions I made. I also knew I wanted to make the decision with enough time to mentally prepare and feel calm on the lead up to the birth and the day itself.
In the couple of weeks leading up to the c section, I listened to Colleen’s mp3s that focused on a calm cesarean, I continued to practice yoga, and I focused on visualisation meditations to visualise the day of the c section to try and take some of the fear out of the day itself.
The night before the c section, I had a bath, lit a candle and listened to the calm c section mp3 and focused on breathing. I knew my main task the next day was to stay as calm as I could for as long as I could.
On the day of the elective c-section I woke early to allow for time to listen to the mp3 again before I left for the hospital. We had a long wait as I was the last c section of the day. I must have listened to the calm c section mp3 about five times that day! Calming music also helped me to block out the hospital noise, and reading helped to pass the time and distract my mind. I was able to stay calm enough to even have a nap a couple of hours before the surgery.
Eventually, in the late afternoon we went to theatre. I focused on my breathing while my wife spoke with the theatre team and sorted it so our music playlist was playing for the surgery. The surgery went as planned and although I did feel moments of panic and fear once in the theatre, we got through it and all anxiety disappeared once my daughter was in my arms.
Overall, the birth of my daughter was not the birth experience I had originally planned or hoped for, but I look back without regret, knowing that I made the right choice for me and my baby, and I feel proud of how calm I managed to stay on the day of the birth. I’m so grateful to have been given the tools by Colleen to be really intentional about my birth experience, and continue to enjoy mum and baby yoga with her.
Catharine and Hayley x
