This story isn’t going to be a typical birth story for expectant mothers to read, but rather a story which will hopefully support and help future mums who were in a similar situation to me.
In February 2022, I gave birth to my firstborn son Connor, at 35 weeks. There were no prior indications that I would have a pre-term baby, so when it happened, I was told that it was most likely just a fluke, and probably wouldn’t happen in any future pregnancies. It’s important to note that I had a C-section with Connor, at full dilation (as this piece of information is imperative to future deliveries, which I didn’t know!)
I had a very straight forward and easy labour with Connor, yet forceps were still forced upon me, and after many arguments with the doctor in between contractions, I refused forceps and demanded a c-section. For personal reasons I am against the use of forceps, and I didn’t want to be put in that position again with my second baby so decided on an elective c-section in advance.
I became pregnant with my second in February 2024, with a due date of November 2024. I always had in the back of my mind that I could have another pre-term baby, and had read online that there was a high chance it would happen again after already having one, but every professional I spoke to told me this was not the case. I mentioned my worries and concerns at every midwife and scan appointment, and was always told it shouldn’t be an issue. One of my midwives in my second trimester could tell that I was quite anxious about the possibility of this happening, and booked me in to see a preterm consultant at 30 weeks.
Halfway through my second trimester, I started to become very uncomfortable – feeling extremely heavy with a lot of pressure building in my lower abdomen. I was larger than my first pregnancy, but not drastically. I put these feelings down to having a toddler at home and dealing with all of his energy, whilst being pregnant.
At my 30-week consultation appointment, the doctor discussed the different variables that were connected to having preterm babies, and I did not meet any criteria. Once again, I was told it shouldn’t be a concern. 48 hours later, that very same doctor delivered my baby, who arrived 11 weeks early on 8th September.
I won’t go into too much detail about my labour and delivery, as it was a very unique situation that turned scary quite quickly, and I wouldn’t want to scare any expectant mothers, but there are some pieces of information that I think are important to share.
I woke at 3.30am with slight cramping, decided to go to the toilet, and instantly saw blood in my pyjamas. Without hesitation, I told my partner I was going to the hospital, as I knew something was wrong. I drove myself 35 minutes to the hospital, with my labour very quickly turning into active labour during the journey. I made it with minutes to spare, before quickly being whisked away to the delivery suit. Within minutes of being in the delivery suite, I was taken to the operating theatre, and 10 minutes before our son arrived, I could hear a nurse saying “dad is here!” He had to wait for his sister to arrive at the house for our other son, before joining me in the hospital. I didn’t fully comprehend the medical emergency that was happening around me, as all I could focus on was the safe delivery of my baby, who I knew was going to be tiny and possibly sick.
In the operating room, I could see a team of about 10 people in the corner, just waiting for my baby to be born. Through all the chaos and panic surrounding me, I somehow remained completely calm and in the right headspace. I was able to have conversations and ensure I had control over how I wanted to bring my baby into the world, and in between conversations I focused on my hypnobirthing techniques and breathing techniques that I had learned through my time with Colleen over both pregnancies. I’m so thankful I was coherent enough to be able to advocate for myself, as my partner wasn’t able to be there for me until the very end. A few days after my delivery, one of the nurses who had been in the operating theatre, said to me that she couldn’t believe how calm and focussed I was, and that this calmness allowed the medical professionals to do their job as safely and efficiently as possible. I’m such a believer in hypnobirthing, and feel as though it really benefited in an emergency situation.
Two and a half hours after my first cramp in bed, our son Declan was born weighing exactly 4lbs. He was instantly whisked away to the baby unit with my partner, while I went under anaesthetic for further surgery. The Special Care Baby Unit (SCBU) feels very scary at first. There are so many beeps, alarms, wires and incubators, all holding the tiniest of humans. I wasn’t able to meet my son until 10 hours after delivery. It was a tough moment – the scariest outcome imaginable was swirling around in my brain, and I didn’t know how I was going to cope should it come to that. After meeting and talking to Declan’s team, they assured me that he was perfectly healthy, just tiny, and needed to grow before coming home. I found it hard to believe at first – how could this tiny baby covered in wires and on oxygen actually be healthy? They were however, correct, and Declan was off of all oxygen 24 hours later, and in the SCBU a total of 5 weeks, not 11 as they had previously predicted. The main focus for premature babies is to help them learn to feed naturally. I was unaware, but babies are not capable of the swallow/suck/breathe technique needed to feed on the breast or bottle until at least 34 weeks gestational age. Until that point, they can only be fed through a tube in the nose.
When Declan reached 34 weeks, we slowly began to teach him how to feed naturally, and 2 weeks later he was released to come home! When it was time for us to leave, I almost felt as if I didn’t want to. The SCBU had become a home away from home for us; a safe little bubble in which the most wonderful humans on the face of this earth work. Premature baby doctors and nurses are miracle workers– it was a privilege to watch them handle and care for these tiny babies, day after day, and I’m so grateful my son was in their care for 35 days.
As my labour and delivery was deemed highly traumatic, I was referred for a debrief with an NHS nurse, to go through my file six months after delivery. I had so many questions about what had happened – why had my body failed me? Why were there no indications that this would happen again? Would it be even earlier should I choose to have a third baby? During my debrief, the midwife felt that she could not answer all of my questions, so I was referred for a second debrief with a doctor. At this debrief, he felt it would be more appropriate to meet with one of the doctors who helped deliver my baby and care for me. At my third (and final) debrief, I met with a doctor who was on my team the day of delivery. He explained to me that I was in fact, a higher risk to have another preterm baby after my first. He explained that the first preterm baby, born at 35 weeks, was most likely down to a weak cervix, which is quite common in women, and often doesn’t cause any issues but could lead to a slightly earlier birth. Although Connor was preterm, he didn’t spend any time in SCBU, and we were sent home within 5 days. However, he went on to explain that any woman who ends up having a C-section once fully dilated, is at a higher risk of having a preterm baby in future, because a dilated cervix without a naturally delivery actually weakens your cervix as well. So having this happen to me, paired with already having a preterm baby, increased my chances of having a future preterm baby drastically. He also confirmed that should I choose to have a third child, the likelihood of having another preterm baby is almost guaranteed, and would most likely be around 15 weeks early, due to the trajectory of my other two, plus experiencing a second C-section with Declan, whilst again fully dilated.
I share this information, as I really do believe that things could have been different had I been aware of this early in my second pregnancy. The doctor explained that I should have been offered an internal scan of my cervix to check it strength and position, and that I also should have been given a few stitches at the opening of my cervix to help support the weight of the growing baby, and to try to keep the cervix closed for longer to avoid a preterm birth. He also explained that once I started feeling the heaviness and pressure towards the end of my second trimester, the doctors should have recommended bed rest, as this was my cervix beginning to weaken further and open up, ready for delivery. Somehow, my case had slipped through the cracks.
I hope this story and information helps future mothers who may find themselves in a similar situation. Although I questioned and pushed for information throughout my entire pregnancy, I was not given the correct information until it was too late. I was very lucky that even though my son was born very small, he was very healthy and had developed well during his time inside the womb.
Listen to your body and your instincts. If you feel you are at a higher risk of preterm birth, keep pushing the medical professionals for information. Discuss your previous labour and how it could affect carrying any future children. Inquire about cervical stitches whilst pregnant. Push for that information. It could easily change the whole trajectory of your pregnancy, labour and delivery.
I am happy to say that Declan is now 9 months old, and thriving! He is so full of life, always smiling, and loves his sleep (thank God!). His older brother Connor adores him, and I feel so lucky and blessed to have two healthy, beautiful boys.
